My panic attacks have returned of late and with it great difficultly in sleeping. After some days applying what I have learned it is time for me to
seek help again. I visited Linden Oaks with the intention to enter their out patient clinic. Both my psychiatrist and the Linden Oaks evaluation team think it is a good idea. I have learned with illnesses they have to be managed and often they are not something that is cured. Treatment takes a little time, and I am not starting over so I am very hopeful to get back into things soon.
Panic attacks are no fun. Clearly it is not a matter of choice. Twice I had hallucinations, once with I had a fever of 106 and was taking morpheme after surgery. They were bright colors of spotted light and when I closed my eyes under morphine bright gold transparent color then enclosing gray wires. It freaked me out to say the least. I did not chose them. My response to the phobias can be to much and I can gain some control of that (thanks cognitive therapy and a spiritual relationship to Christ).
It is part of the principle of the blog to face my problems and move forward. My actions this time is to prevent a depression which I believe in time would follow. Depressed thinking r them and another matter all together and it is worth preventing.
It is quite possible a story of one's struggle wears on others. I get that, but what is important in our difficulties we don't deny them and they get worse. We can developed symptoms of heart, cancer, diabetes and fear them and let them get worse or we can get help and fight them. So the fat man is about the fight. When Winston Churchill talks about the "black dog" it fascinates us because his fight over depression had the fate of the world in the balance. We can say the same for FDR fighting heart diseases and giving his life in the same war. Our own story may not be as dynamic, but what does it mean to our family and friends when we chose to walk (which helps in our fight) to we live better or longer.
I share my weakness to help you with yours. One of the things I will do in treatment is get my morning walks in. Keep walking!
seek help again. I visited Linden Oaks with the intention to enter their out patient clinic. Both my psychiatrist and the Linden Oaks evaluation team think it is a good idea. I have learned with illnesses they have to be managed and often they are not something that is cured. Treatment takes a little time, and I am not starting over so I am very hopeful to get back into things soon.
Panic attacks are no fun. Clearly it is not a matter of choice. Twice I had hallucinations, once with I had a fever of 106 and was taking morpheme after surgery. They were bright colors of spotted light and when I closed my eyes under morphine bright gold transparent color then enclosing gray wires. It freaked me out to say the least. I did not chose them. My response to the phobias can be to much and I can gain some control of that (thanks cognitive therapy and a spiritual relationship to Christ).
It is part of the principle of the blog to face my problems and move forward. My actions this time is to prevent a depression which I believe in time would follow. Depressed thinking r them and another matter all together and it is worth preventing.
It is quite possible a story of one's struggle wears on others. I get that, but what is important in our difficulties we don't deny them and they get worse. We can developed symptoms of heart, cancer, diabetes and fear them and let them get worse or we can get help and fight them. So the fat man is about the fight. When Winston Churchill talks about the "black dog" it fascinates us because his fight over depression had the fate of the world in the balance. We can say the same for FDR fighting heart diseases and giving his life in the same war. Our own story may not be as dynamic, but what does it mean to our family and friends when we chose to walk (which helps in our fight) to we live better or longer.
Sorry to hear this Bill. I wish strength for you to work through this and continued enjoyment in your morning walks.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words. The care and treatment will bring me around. We live in a day where we are able to find support that really helps. 40 years ago when I worked in a mental hospital it was closer to "One Flew Over the Cookoo's nest". I am proud to say I cared for others. Bill
Delete