facing perils of aging, God's love is constant

Billy Graham in his book nearing home: life, faith, and finishing well on page 87 he began talking about four Hidden perils as we get older. 

They are fear, anxiety and depression, anger, and loneliness. From his perspective at 92 when he wrote this its’ a pretty good list.

His appeal to move from over focusing our attention to our illness which has a way of making us self-centered to focus on Christ and get support from other believers is a good idea. Know the truth of God’s love through trials, sickness and even death is constant. God is there what ever our experience. Citing 2 Corinthians 12:10, “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

The solid promise in Romans 8:35ff, 35 “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written: “For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” 37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

When I was in the mental hospital being treated for anxiety and depression I spent at least a half hour each night in prayer and Bible reading and I had a strong sense that God was with me. There were a lot of things that I was learning in the daytime. And there was work being done emotionally throughout the day. It was pretty similar to when I've being in the hospital recovering from surgery. Each day had its own unique way of healing and you do end up working with hospital staff as you heal. But in the same way there was a time of reflection and meditation and prayer. I find it helpful to focus on one truth time when your body is in chaos and healing. Keep it simple.

But each of our hidden perils may take some special care and treatment. Since 25% of us will be dealing with depression and anxiety as we age, we need to understand in the same way that we have problems with our heart, some part of our body, aches and pains, all kinds of sicknesses; we should not be surprised that mentally we have problems as well. Medicine can be a big help here.

Anxiety and depression and even anger can all be connected. And sometimes we just cannot deal with these things on our own. Consider putting a mental health professional on your medical team. 

Loneliness as well and be very real as we age. We all will lose people. Dealing with grief and experiencing loss is one of the major problems we face in life. We need to regularly make new friends and stay involved with the people we know for all these experiences. 

Dr. Graham's counsel to find ways to help others is one way to turn our tragedies into gems. Being sick can make us very self-centered. Part of it maybe God’s way to help us focus ourselves to heal. But there is a joy not just looking at your own interests but also the interests of others. Showing the love of Christ even in our illness can lift us up emotionally. 

We do have perils that we face when we get older. Sometimes it can be hard. Sometimes our focus needs to pay attention to it. But in the background of it God wants to teach us many things. It seems high on God's agenda his teaching us to forgive others and reach out to meet other needs even somewhat while we are selves for suffering. 

There is nothing wrong to focus our attention to the healing and care that we need. Mental health is more than just being considered crazy. It is really about practical ways to understand our brains as we age and take care of them when they need it. 

And always remember that nothing can help the brain more than good exercise, good food and plenty of water. Keep on walking.

Bike station at computer

I'm always on the lookout for another way to move as I work on the computer. As I reheat my 2 cups of coffee in the microwave for one minute each, I go through six old man workout moves using the kitchen counter.

• Push-ups 
• Dips 
• heel raises 
• Lunges 
• Side lunges 
• Squats 

Three days a week I have my suspension training connected to my door and I did two sets of push-ups, curls, triceps, pull-ups, squats, and there is three different types of squats I can do. 

On the days I do my strength-training I have several tools to use. The one that I use most consistently is my resistant bands. And there is about 12 strength-training moves duplicating moves at the gym. 

Five days a week I do at least right now three 10 minute walks that are either indoor walking with Leslie Sansone or I walked outdoors. My next step with my walking will be one of the 10 minutes I will walk for 20 minutes. But I think I will keep the other two 10 minutes walks. In 12 weeks my 20 minute walk will expand into a 30 minute walk. You can see if I add up all the little ways I move it is more than an hour a day. 

Chores like doing the dishes, vacuuming and in the winter using the snowblower are other ways to keep moving. I've been a little bit lazy and I need to include the laundry in this. By adding a few flights of stairs it will be all the better. 

I bought a portable biking device that I can turn into a recumbent as I work on the computer. I just listen to a sermon by Pastor Lutzer up at Moody Church in Chicago that went about 35 minutes. I biked for 31 minutes that put three thousand steps on my pedometer. It felt like easy biking you do when you got your bike in gear and your feet is moving along at a steady pace. I read about using this tool at the computer station to help movement while you work. Blood circulation, calories burnt, breathing deeper all boost your health. The device can also be used by the arms. You can rehab hand, wrist, arm and shoulder injuries with it. When I was in rehab I would go three minutes in one direction and I would go to three minutes in the other direction. Upper body movements also are used in cardiac rehab. If you have heart issues check with your doctor.

I will update you on how I use it. I know it's one more way to reach a goal of 10,000 steps a day. In the wintertime we can use all the little help we can get to keep moving. 

Keep in mind the principles as we get older to be involved with aerobic training, strength training (this actually increases as we age) and flexibility. I was just reading Wayne Styles blog on accountability. He has a small group bible study with men and he lists 10 questions to help in the Christian life. 

http://www.waynestiles.com/10-accountability-questions-to-grow-your-christian-life/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+waynestiles+%28Wayne+Stiles+Blog%29

Two questions from the list, #5 Have you done your hundred percent best in your job, school, or retirement? With #8 have you taken care of your body through regular physical exercise and proper eating and sleeping? When we retire or as we age we need to give ourselves time to exercise. Because we are at the age we are now it is time to eat a healthy diet that is heart friendly. There is more and more written about sleeping today and how it is connected to our health. How do we do our best in retirement? I know that's more than physical fitness but for right fitness now that is part of retirement. (other responsibilities may include how we live, being involved with others, make people our business, spiritual vitality and life, engaging hobbies etc.) The choice here relates to how we feel and are we able to stay independent. Moving, walking, adaptive strength training all help us with arthritis, our heart and brain and lungs. However long we live it is a life better served. Keep walking

“End of Construction. Thank you for your patience.”

“End of Construction. Thank you for your patience.” Have you seen this sigh on the road? I had, but I did not make the connection that Ruth Graham did. She saw the sign toward the end of her life and she wanted the words on her tombstone. So if you visit her gravesite you will see those words. Ruth was the missionary daughter of Dr. Bell who served in China. She also is the better half with Billy Graham. I know he would agree with me. 

I remember when I was younger "Please be patient with me, God is not finished with me yet." The idea is that my life is under construction and that has taught me to be patient with myself. The hope is others may also be patient with me. Nobody has been more patient with me then my wife, Barb. It is not that I am at the end of my life right now but I am further down the road than I was. One thing about being patient, has something to do with kindness, looking for the good of somebody else.

Meryl Streep had recently said that she is no longer patient, I just saw the headline and I didn't read the article. I think I understand the gist of the need to move on and not be under the burden of stupid ideas or actions. 

For me both the request “please” and response “thank you” has a certain civility about it. I think

there's also a sentiment of the idea that I'm working on it. My efforts in the blog is to try to write better, but I can see where somebody would lose patience with it. It is time to read something better. Life is too short. But for the reader who visits my blog it is a working process that I hope encourages you as we try to improve our health.

God to me has been very patient. In every turn where I moved from some dysfunctional thought or behavior, to a principal or an idea that benefits myself or those around me; He has been there not to beat me down but to encourage me. Of course, if you are patient with me and God is patient with me than the real hard part is I have to be patient with you. I'm smiling as I wrote that last line. Think about the road we travel, where our lives are under construction, never really finished, where both please and thank you for your patience is part of our journey. At the heart of it I think is grace and love. Keep walking

Graham, Billy (2011-10-18). Nearing Home: Life, Faith, and Finishing Well (p. 95). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

Listening has its' challenges

Sometimes when we think about is a lot of bad news lately. We might be thinking about ISEL or the economy. Some of us might be focused on some global environmental issue, or even a health issue like you Ebola. I've been watching that particular problem in a country that I used to live in. Now all of these issues we should know and care about. With Ebola I've been encouraged that they found a way to treat it. How it plays out there will be suffering. Some of these issues are really long-term problems that will take a lot of hard work. 

The kind of bad news that I think doesn't get much press are the bad news that happens in our life. A love one passes away, another has an accident with long-term complications, heart disease, cancer and diabetes take their toll in personal ways. When these things hit us personally we make it initially a lot of support but as time goes on people want to move on. Yet we may personally still be in the battle with a few people in support. 

Somehow because the problem affects us, we now become a new advocate. Throughout personal experience we learn a lot about what we're going through. Sometimes I think getting older almost gives us a doctorate in what we learn. I was watching Miss Agatha Christie last night, a Caribbean Mystery. The victim was an old man who shared photos of his hobby which was murders and their victims. He would go on and on in a long monotone in which Jane Marple would nod off from time to time. That night the old man was killed, it looks like he could've died of natural causes. Well, with Jane Marple around one just doesn't die of natural causes; it has to be in particular a poison not easily detected. The death is a murder. Jane hates evil and she wakes her mind up to the boring conversation of the night before and tries to make sense of it. Like Sherlock Holmes, Monk, or even Shawn Spencer something doesn't fit. She finds an ally in an unlikely partner who is a grumpy old man everybody hates. He has a good mind and like his own story he takes an interest in the old man who doesn't count in anybody else in the world like himself and joins Miss Marple to solve the mystery. 

When I was younger I work in a mental hospital in which I was assigned six people to take care of their needs through the day. It was my job to remind them of therapy that they were involved in and if needed escort them to other parts of the hospital for care. If somebody was bedridden I would take care of them. I was trained to look for things that related to their particular problems. Each day I was to talk to each person. I'll be honest with you some people are interesting to talk too, but other people are not. Sometimes it was because of the disease of that they have. Sometimes they would go on and on, and like Jane Marple, I used to nod off. But there was always something that they said that was important and I used to rewind the conversations and scramble for meaning. There was a therapist Dr. Rogers and Rogerian therapy who indicated with a nod or yes or some kind of sound and indicated that you were listening. In truth, these responses could be done by rote and you could be somewhere faraway. I could've been the only person that day that really talked to the people. The doctors and therapists paid attention to people that they were interested but others they would spend little time with. I would time their sessions and most of time it was one or two minutes. That was it. If they were interested in the person he could be one or two hours. This is inequality drove me to do better with my conversation. I would read and study the experts to do better in this. 

Do you ever get the feeling that people are listening to you? That the very issues that you're dealing with it is hard to find someone with the same focus. I think it's a good idea to find people who are going through the same thing you are. On the brighter side isn't nice to find people who care and know things that can really help you. In healing you can almost have a day by day instruction for. Sometimes there is always taking a few steps back and then you move forward again. Health gains and recovery can be kind of a long road. When it comes to lifestyle changes I think you really have to be patient with yourself. I like to thought of being kind to yourself. As you make changes, notice how better you feel. You don't have to see the end of the road, you just have to feel good about the few steps you taking today. Tomorrow will have its own challenges. 

Is nobody listening to you. Drop a comment now I'll listen. Keep walking

Can we help ourselves in the fight of dementia?

When I started this blog there were three things that are likely to take our lives were heart disease, cancer and diabetes. Strokes and dementia also come within those three categories. There seems to be a correlation between heart disease and dementia and strokes. One of the diseases Alzheimer's disease and other dementia there are over 44 million people are living with this condition. These aging diseases we would like to see how we can delay them, deal with them better, or even find cures. 

The good news is that we are living longer but along with that we have to go through many of these diseases. 150 years ago most of us didn't live long enough to have these problems. We look back at our family history and these diseases come up. It raises the question is there anything I can do that can help me deal with these things better than my relatives. 

My life experiences, reading many different scientific sources tells me that we've gotten better in our medicine and treatment of these diseases. We can't kid ourselves it is not just lifestyle changes. There have been many improvements, and technology, healthcare that help against the fight of these things. The cure we aren't there yet, we have recovery, remission, delays and in someways we can return to normal life for a longtime.  

CNN reported the following information. I've added to each point after the topic sentence and a number six. There is no guarantees that we can avoid dementia but there is every indication that we can delay it and maybe even avoided altogether.

When it comes to dementia here are some ideas that might help us: 

1. Look after your heart. Become familiar with the American Heart Association's diet recommendations. Taking care of your heart also helps you deal with cancer and diabetes and now they say dementia. 
2. Be physically active. Move throughout your day. Don't just sit around the get up and move every half hour or so. Be physically fit enough to take a 30 minute walk. Most people at 50 can do this. The older we are and start walking it may take a little bit time to get up to shape to do this. A 30 minute walk or even a 20 minute walk boost our immune system, helps control our blood sugar, raises are good cholesterol, cleans out our arteries and veins, helps our lungs, the increase blood flow to her extremities and is wonderful for brains and our feet. Get up pedometer and try to walk 5,000 to 10,000 steps every day. Do strength training at least twice a week, and work on your flexibility.
3. Follow a healthy diet. Learn to eat a portion diet with a three-quarter plate. Avoid seconds and practice moderation. For example limit your coffee to 2 cups, or beer and wine to one or two. Drink more water. I have looked at several studies that indicate in dementia people lived too long under-hydrated. One of the things that happens we get older is our bladder control is not as good. Instinctively we will avoid drinking so that we don't have to use the bathroom at night. But this is no good for our brain and joint health. Water by the way puts liquids into the joints and you can help you move better. So take time to read about water intake. Fruits and veggies servings remember this line, five is fine, nine is divine.
4. Challenge your brain. Keep learning and developing new pathways for your brain. Walking also helps your brain grow as you age.
5. Enjoys social activity. 25% of us deal with depression from 62 on. Loneliness happens to many seniors. So get out and enjoy people, make new friends. Dealing with loss can be very difficult as we get older. We need to keep renewing new friendships. From my experience I think it's a good idea to include a psychiatric professional to your medical team. This doesn't mean that you're nuts, but just like our organs and body has more difficulties so does our nervous system and brain. Choosing a blue sky over a blue mood is easy for me. 
6. Develop a spiritual life. You maybe set in your ways and find change hard but don't lose hope. Church life, worship, prayer, bible study have all been shown to help us as we age. This poem is true

To dwell above 

With the Saints of love 

That will be glory. 

But the dwell below 

With the Saints I know 

That is a different story.

Yes it's true there's no perfect church and doggone it, Christians do the craziest things. But I like to think it's an exact craziness we need. The expectations are for people to be perfect and yet we need a place where we can be human and grow. Most of all we need a place to learn about the Lord and hope that he's still working with us. There is nobody who is perfect in health.  Keep walking

Always adjustments

Today I'm drawing upon things I've learned about walking. I have broken out my walking today in three 10 minute segments. This is given my back time to stay loose as I walk to an aerobic pace. In between my walks I have done my old man exercises and several exercises with suspension training. Working on the computer I get up several times an hour and move around. Right now I'm standing as I dictate this note. There's been a lot of attention lately in health literature about the benefits of standing over sitting and with the dictation software that came with my computer I'm able to write while standing. 

All these little behaviors actually benefit our health. This time of year is when we start thinking about driving to see the fall colors. If you have to go some distance take regular breaks from the ride and get out for just a little walk using your muscles get your blood moving. When you're sitting in the car or driving in the car and you're in cruise control move your feet and do toe raises, wiggling your toes, and heel raises. This is also good when you're riding in a plane. Helping move your blood to your extremities may help you not develop a clot. I know the little walks help us to stay alert while we're driving and helps a little gray cells as well. Walking helps rebuild the brain better than crossword puzzles. Walking can also help people delay the onset of diseases related to older age. For years I known the benefits of walking in relationship to stretching out my muscles. When I used to play tennis people who know me could see that I was getting more flexible. Regular walking can delay the baby steps we take when we get older. I see this all the time on the trail of people who walk regularly. They take nice long strides being in their 70s and 80s. 

Walking outside with my cane is helping. It has been a while since I have fallen. I am almost scared to tell you this because it seems like when I do, pretty soon I fall. But the strategy behind the cane is not for bearing weight but for giving me that extra point of balance. I think it also makes me just little bit more mindful to mentally pick up my feet. I can recall my father telling me that when I was just a wee lad. Walking though has its own natural pace and I really can't stay conscious every step of it. I mean there's a blue sky, the green grass and trees, the flowers, the birds, and cute girls to notice. But as I flow along with the cane, it is there to help me when my foot catches. In my mind I am Sherlock Holmes and Watson with the game afoot. As I walk the uneven ground in the frisbee golf course or park again definitely supports me very well. There is a timing to it and like a walking stick on a nature trail in a state park or national Park is very helpful. 

I hope in the cooler temperatures of fall you find time to take your walks. Short walks, 30 minute walks or even more are all good. Keep walking

Bullying get involved, check out stopbullying.com

When I think of this child who was humiliated, the child will have unexplained emotions, hard to understand and even hurtful as a result. All because some kids chose to harm this kid in a disgraceful way. In my own life I am talking about things that happened over 50 years ago. Nobody should have to go through that. You'll be glad to know that in almost 40 years of working with people where there has been hundreds of times I have dealt with bullies. Yes, who I am has something to do with my response but, I've actually been pretty good with protecting the ones who were bullied and help bring the bullies to some sense of responsibility for their actions.

I know the call of action will be for society to deal with this. Each one of us can be a priest, lawyer, or average guy. We can look at the hurt person from bullies and thugs. What is our response when this happening do we look at it and see what we can do or do we pass by. The hurt has already taken place, what do we do? Do we pass by thinking somebody else has to do something or do we take the risk and see what we can do? Parents, Is your kid a bully or is your kid getting bullied? What is immature and what is crossing line. Do you see it? You have to get into your kids life to know. Either side of this issue you have to let your child know that you're going to help them get to the bottom of this. Either helping them to stop the behavior and become responsible for it or you were there to help them to deal with the bully and recover from it. If you as a parent do not get involved how can the law and society help you. You want real change and there is support out there to get it. 

The earlier we intervened the more sense it makes when we are working on immature actions rather than criminal behavior. In both cases there are consequences and lessons to be learned. Bully behavior has its motivation gaining power and control over others. In Calvin and Hobbes it was extortion of $.25. Moe always got a quarter. Calvin retreated into his imaginary world where he would defeat Moe in legendary battles. Calvin had his way of fighting back. In Calvin's world's teacher was part of the bullying process. She too would fall prey to to Calvin’s imagination. I think it was important Calvin fought back. The comic genius of the comic strip we owe because of the subject of bullying. 

I just read an article on neglect affecting 4/5 preschoolers. 

Is the most common form of abuse. But it is the opposite that we have to do when it comes to bullying. We have to get involved on a personal basis. We have to know our child's life or in my case, my grandchildren's life.

http://www.stopbullying.gov/index.html has resources to understand this problem. Explore the website. The more of us who choose to be a good Samaritan and choose not to be a bystander we will be helpful in stoping bullying. A bully will use a tactic an abuser uses, if you tell your parents I won't beat them up too. When I was a kid and kids used that line on me, I had to laugh because my silence protected the bully. If my dad knew he would go over and confront the parents. And when I say confront I am talking about the strongest terms. No I told the bullies I was protecting them and if they didn't believe me they could come meet my dad. There was always somebody in the crowd who met my dad or their parents knew my dad. And they would verify my story. 

But bullies may pose a threat to a family. And that is where others may be of assistance. Schools are much more aware bullying today. The police are more in tune with it. Single parents can find support with other single parents. Many more moms are banding together for collective strength and support. True enough there are people who will respond like the Levite and the priest in the story of the good Samaritan. Fear of getting involved they will pass on by. But there are unlikely hero's, people you know who will stand with you. Remember the risk is worth it, your child safety. Read the website and find out how to get support. Keep walking

Laughing with or at is key to the underlining of bullying. Bullies laugh at

I remember working with children and teens at camp for about 20 years. The staff used to play jokes on each other throughout the summer. The kids at the camp joined on it. Some of these plots the cabins would plan and work out. We had some rules and guidelines. No camper was to be made a joke of. People who did not want the practical jokes were off-limits. No damage, or harm would be part of the joke. And the counselor or cabin had to clean up any outward results. If they were unsure whether they would over do it, they were to talk it out with the director or my wife. Other counselors who wanted to play the game also could her targeted. The stress was on creativity and fun. 
Most of the staff liked the game. Myself and water safety instructor had some misgivings. Our difference of opinions help keep the game safe.

Practical jokes, at camp the counselors played jokes on my wife the camp nurse and the directors wife. Both women laughed at it and found ways to get even. They were good sports and they were very creative in pay backs. At this time in my life I did not practice practical jokes nor did I expect that they be practiced on me. I was not a good sport so I was out of the game. But I could see that everybody was having fun with it and nothing was done to hurt anybody. The campers enjoyed humor of it and in particular the ladies got a big kick out of that. 

There is a big difference with laughing with somebody rather than laughing at them. We all have something that we can laugh at then, humor is probably overall pretty good. We all do something that's funny, embarrassing, awkward. 

If you lived in the town of Mayberry with Andy Griffin there were a lot of quirky people. As we watch the show Earnest T. Bass was funny to laugh at, as were Gomer Pile, Barney Fife. Andy and Don Knotts ad-libbed their characters for 8 funny years into our homes. Each of these enduring characters on the show had their human moments. They are over-the-top characters were meant to be entertainment but the humor wasn't a mean-spirited humor. 

In stark contrast to laughing at each other is the abuse of the recent incident where kids mocked the bucket challenge with human waste poured on an autistic kid. The cry-out against the kids abusing the autistic child calls out for action. Most called for the kids to be prosecuted. They did break the law. For starters, how about the parents of the bullies see the behavior for what it is. Their actions hurt another human being. To make it worse they chose a child who was limited in fighting back. Discipline starts in the home. If the bullies are to turned around this is where it has to start. The parents need to stand with their kids for what they did. They may have to be an advocate for the children in the days ahead but right now they have to see the evil in it. The bullies have to see the evil in their behavior. There may be consequences but if the parents and children do not see the evil in their actions it will be far worse as he's kind of behaviors escalate. 

The autistic child needs protection and support. I have no idea how the child could be taught to protect himself. But I think children need help in learning self protection against bullies. They need to learn to take to target off your back. If the children cannot protect themselves then we have to step in. Since Drew Carey is already involved, maybe with his creativity and intelligence he could help children stand up to bullies or how to reach out for help. 

Since we are talking about starting at home, how about a booklet or a DVD to help inform the parents on bullying and how to talk to your kids about it. Parents of bullies need help as well. We should not assume that our children are not bullies. Parenting is one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities where we learn on the go. Since we don't know everything as parents it's okay learn something. Brief pointers could be present during commercial times. Maybe offering A one year degree on parenting that could also be rewarded at work with the raise. I know that's a crazy idea but it might make better parents, who in turn will make better employees and consumers. Churches could add parenting skills and reach out to young parents trying to put it altogether. Parents involved in bullying intervention will work a lot better than later social intervention. Education should be voluntary, but if children bully then education for the parents should be part of the sentence. Keep walking

topic of bullying - let's get into it

In the next couple blogs I would like to address the topic of bullying. I will show you down road how bullying has affected my life. To be sure I was a child when it first happened and I was confused and just took a beating. That incident would forge in my mind a definite response. It has become a part of me in many ways defined who I am. I have gone to different ways with it. For sure I fought back, but now for many years I have tried to understand, confronted and somehow bring healing to it. Be of no mistake bullying has to be confronted. We can't wish it away, avoid it, or even blame others. It is so big it calls for each one of us to respond. 

In Luke 10:25-37 there is a great story of the good Samaritan. It is worth another read to become familiar with the story in the details. This is a story with the focuses on the response, but the cause was bullying motivation of robbery.

We can have words to build up on another or we can have caustic and harmful words to tear each other down. Our actions can do the same thing. Think of the robbers who chose to use violence to rob this man. Read Proverbs 1:10-19, kids today I'm being called into such violent groups. Consider verse 11, If they say — “Come with us! Let's set an ambush and kill someone. Let's attack some innocent person just for fun!” Two disturbing trends today are the game of ambush kids are doing and attack of human waste on an innocent. Social media gives the motivation as a look at the number of hits for this obnoxious behavior. Will the action go viral? How can we stop it?

Reading the responses to the abuse of the autistic child we want social justice. The act was criminal and has consequences with law. But, if we want to see change I think we have to look at a more fundamental problem. 
I think we have to explore and encourage parents to be the first response to such actions. In parenting we may have to deal with our children and their immature behaviors. Sometimes their behaviors cross the line and are harmful. Other times their behaviors are immature and childish. A parent has to be able to see both parts. If we don't see when our kids cross the line we may not be dealing with reality. But on the other hand we don't understand some of their behavior reflects how old they are or lack of experience, recalling our own experiences when we were their age we may lack compassion. Parents need to step up when confronting both sides of the bullying. When our kids do wrong and hurt others we have to hold them accountable and we have to be responsible to discipline the wrong behavior. In this case, the behavior broke the law. The parent facing up to the wrong deed can help their child learn and change and face the consequences of their behavior.

Many of my friends posted Drew Carey offering a reward to find the kids who became bizarre with the bucket challenge as they bullied an autistic child. Clearly they crossed line seriously enough to be prosecuted by law. Drew clearly heard of the attack and did something about it. I hope he follows it through with his talent and wit to help those who are attack and hurt; to learn how to stand up or find those who will stand with them, and begin to help healing and recovery. He very definitely has the ability to address people who are thinking about crossing the line and hurting people. There is wrong behavior.

Can you recall in your youth doing a prank that you thought was funny but somehow really hurt somebody? What did you learn about it? Did you ever try to make it right? On the other side of the coin have you ever been hurt by a prank? What did you learn about? How did you confront the bully and didn't solve the problem? Or there was no resolution how did that affect you? Human life is messy. Did mom and dad help sort it out? Or was this something that you were alone about? Are you angry about it? If so, choose your favorite cuss word and with a smile just say it. Laugh with me right now. Doesn't it feel better? At least you have to say is the first time in minister Took time to swear with you. Keep walking

Stand up to cancer, amen.

Stand up to cancer, amen. If you have read my blog for any time you know we fight three diseases that can take our life: heart disease, cancer, and diabetes. I believe if we adapt life style changes that help our heart we also are on the right track to fight cancer and diabetes. We are like a baseball team going with the percentages. If you win 6 out of 10 games this year you are on top. Most league leaders are 500+ When it comes to health we want better numbers than that. I am a Cub fan and this year we improved to 457%. 

I know this that if we walk, strength train and stretch our immune system and health improves. If we eat 5 to 9 servings of fruits and veggies it improves our ability to be healthy. If we get to a healthy weight again our chances improve. Moderation is vital for a big guy like me. When it comes to cancer I believe these things can help

There are problems. Getting healthy or staying healthy always is like a pitcher who pitched a good pitch and the batter hits it out of the park anyway. Yogi Berra made a career of hitting pitches you shouldn’t hit. Loosing weight ain’t easy, we get injured, there are thousands of bad habits we could have. We get sick despite our good efforts. Well, that is what walking with the fat man is all about. Health doesn’t always go the way we planned. Amen to medical and spiritual help.

When I was 20 I never thought I would be fat like my older relatives. I had really no idea what it would be like at 60+. I was watching The Knick and they had a surgery to remove a part of a bowel like I had. In 1900 I don’t know how they survived but they had to start somewhere. There are cancers people survive today that 100 years ago or even 50 years ago they didn’t. If you start soon enough you may prevent a sudden death of heart disease. When I was in the hospital I saw courage in a different way as people battled for their lives. The fear in the eyes, and the encouragement given that helps pull them through. It was hard but I also knew people who fought for life and didn’t make it. It is a real as we get. I still remember a friend who came to visit me and was shocked at all the tubes coming and going in my body. At that time I had gone through the worse of it and knew I was getting better despite how I looked. 

I day or so earlier I knew I had to change the way I ate, I knew I had to get walking again. What  I didn’t know at that time was the insomnia that would follow. I didn’t know about the anxiety attacks that would become a daily problem at night. I certainly did not foresee the depression that would color my life. The walking and diet changes would help me face these other problems. 

One thing I think I have done is not hide any of the stuff. But I have been blessed with recovery and care. These battles become self absorbing. After a while our support people want to move on. As a blogger I too have to move on. I only write this to remind myself our health battles often can have a good outcome, but it is far from easy. 

Each day, every person in my family, and friends (so many I worked with) become more precious too me. I was looking at the love of my life tonight and thinking how did I deserve her love. My church family who for me always the souls at Fellowship who have all the quirks of Mayberry. These things give me a love for life. God for me is right in the middle of it. So come walk with the fat man. Keep walking

Bill whom Jesus loved

I am in the last stages of my study on the life of Christ as a walker. And I was observing comments on John 20: 1-10. Today I was paying attention to the movement of the disciples to and from the tomb and the pace they took. At this point, I have my questions and observations. But I will try to discover the distance that they travel. The women going to prepare the body probably walking a normal pace. After they see the evidence of grave clothes left in a position as if a body pass through them, not unwrapped they would've hurry I think the pace of the jog to run tell the disciples. John and Peter run to the tomb, I believe a little faster pace, with the younger John easily outrunning Peter. 

Two thoughts came through the study for me today. The KJV gives us the way John is identified in the gospel as “the other disciple, whom Jesus loved," J Vernon McGee notes any one of us could use that description for ourselves. “the other disciple, whom Jesus loved," For example,“Bill, whom Jesus loved,” “Your name, ___________ whom Jesus loved”. Try it see how it feels on you. Use it in a closing of a letter or e-mail or in a posting on Face book or twitter. How does it make you feel? Pretty cool Uh.

Has someone passed on, use the phrase with their name. What do you think and feel about that? You can own the phrase by putting your faith in Jesus as your Savior. 

The second observation I made may not be a spiritually significant but as far as walking goes it has it's own motivation. I noticed after the discovery that Jesus burial clothes laid as if the body passed through it, not unwrapped. At this point Jesus hadn't appeared to tot the disciples yet, But after they made this discovery they ran and walked aerobically. Their pace was influenced by their observations that Jesus could have arisen. Referring to yourself as the one whom Jesus loved may quicken your pace.

Keep walking

Pessimism may be good for you

Every once in while I come across an article in which it really intrigues me. Such was an article that I found in Wall Street Journal today, A Perfect dose of Pessimism; A negative outlook at times can help you managing anxiety and stay healthy. http://online.wsj.com/articles/a-perfect-dose-of-pessimism-1407196064?mg=id-wsj

Working in education most of my life I don't think I was ever encouraged to be pessimistic. Usually presenters share very optimistic plan that will solve all evils. You put the plan in action and in five years later the problems still exist. Most people were encouraged to smile, to be positive and that's not really wrong. I think we worked better if we're a little more optimistic about things. Saying all this I know for sure that there were people that I worked with were very pessimistic and negative. If you listen to the scuttlebutt at work you didn't want to be around these people. 

But being 25% or 30% pessimistic can be very good for you. Again back to work, it may lead to good questions and concerns. After working through about six 5 year plans and changes that eliminate problems or are usually reword them or recategorized. When you look at it the problem is still there. The problem it self is the reason for teaching to begin with. It's why we have a job. Working to get better though is a good idea. 

Optimistic people tend to take chances and being risk-takers can be hazardous to your health. If you're too Pollyanna or positive you may not look at things when they go wrong. Pessimistic people tend to be people check things out and by doing so that keeps them alive. So the researchers of the article suggests a 70 optimistic-30 pessimistic% ratio. If you have this balance going on you will actually live longer. So let me read you the first to say to you today it's okay to be a little pessimistic. 

Have you ever felt like you were somewhere where you were always supposed to smile? I like to think of it as slaphappy. It is totally unrealistic with our human emotions being what they are for own survival. 

People often think this way when I think of God being love, but that it's not giving God any credit for not disapproving all the idiot things we do. I'm big fan of grace, acceptance, and love; but I'm also very thankful that God is there to point out things I need to change or may even be unacceptable. 

One thing about social media there is a lot of crazy stuff posted. I seen a picture of a mother point a gun at her infant, probably thinking it's funny. For me I wish I never saw the picture. I could live my whole life without seeing it with no regrets. I am glad with my response for every bit of my pessimism about that craziness. 

Leaving the insane, when it comes to work, health, being 30% pessimistic can be a good thing. Keep walking