Really I am just starting to work on my issues with emotional eating

At least a year ago a medical doctor friend of mine asked if I ever looked into emotional eating and if I thought it related to my difficulty in losing weight? At the time I was still trying to deal with the x’s and o’s of an effective plan to lose weight. Eating disorders, I just can't get a handle on it as it related to me. 

As time moved forward I knew that I had to relook at the whole walking with fatman approach. Walking did return me to a healthier me. I have lost 54 pounds, improved all my health numbers and was walking 4 miles everyday. I was eating small plates, 1 helping, and was actually feeling pretty good. 

Storm clouds came into my life. Some of that I didn't see coming at all. Other things I did, but it all came on. Stressors that accumulate can take a toll that I just didn't figure on. Insomnia, frustration at not being able to change some things kept gnawing at me. At work and at church there was things I couldn’t accept or change. When my son's health had a crisis, I didn't know it, but I cracked. I entered the world of the black dog, depression. I don't give up, I'm a fighter; but the wind in my sails ceased. It was like I was in the ocean but my ship was no longer moving. At this point it would not take too many stressors for me to reach the end of my energy. 

My wonderful wife and My son came to the rescue. They can see what happened and all my ruminating was not productive. In fact, it was part of the chemical imbalance that was going on the in my brain. I entered the hospital for treatment and things started turning for me. About a year later, I re-entered the outpatient care and I was clearly on a path to put my illness in remission. 

I have documented my injuries due to cerebral palsy which made walking more difficult to do. It triggers other problems including weight gain. During this time I successfully got into resistant training. Later I was able to acquire an indoor recumbent bike and practice indoor walking with Leslie Sansone.

Back to the idea emotional eating. I have begun to explore it in therapy and daily I am working through some books to try to get a handle on it. Basically I have learned irrational beliefs and actions in regard to eating. I am working to understand the craziness of it. Much like panic attacks and outbursts that have their roots from post traumatic stress from childhood. I want to put in place ideas and strategies that can de-energize the irrational urges relate to binge eating. In the same way, I do not want anger and depression to define me in my senior years, I do not want to be controlled by binge eating either. 

One thing that I'm trying to do right now is to be mindful on my thoughts and feelings when I'm on the prowl to binge. I am journaling them and trying to bring them to full consciousness where the irrational meets the rational. Just doing this has me more aware to say no. 

I was thinking how the strategies they'll learn to deal with my panic attacks could be used with my frenzy eating? 

Rumination, perseveration, can all be part of the chemical transmitters in the brain. 

My own medical doctor thinks 80% of the work I need is diet., vs. exercise and lifestyle. But for me to control my diet I think I'm going have to understand my binge eating and the emotional needs connected with over eating. Keep walking

Being an emotional eater?

Exploring the dark side again. Somewhere in the dark world of abuse and abandonment I developed crazy eating patterns. As an adult I understand both my mother's behavior and somewhat my father's. I have successfully overcome depression and anxiety attacks, but now I want to explore the emotional world of my eating patterns and come up with effective strategies for my weight loss. There is an irrational part of my upbringing that I think affects how I eat.

I am one of the fastest eaters I know. I am also subject to binges. There are times when I'm not even thinking about it. 

It is time that I understand the irrational part my motivations. It is time that I bring it to awareness explore the feelings the negative and irrational ideas behind it. Like the lies of depression there are distortions in irrational eating. Bringing them to awareness and understanding them will also give me basic understanding into what strategies I use to put the anxiety of it to bed. To live life in my 60s free from the crazy world of emotional eating is a good goal. 

I am reading for first time Cognitive Behavior Workbook for Weight Management and Love Hunger an older work. I will also be looking into other works that I have read.

I'm going to keep a notebook jotting feelings, what I'm thinking, times when I binge eat or say no and how do I feel about that. Are there feelings of anxiety. Can I bring into awareness feelings and thoughts that I'm not sure. What are the lies that I'm dealing with? And what is the truth then I need to replace it with. 

When I was dealing with lies of depression, each one had a truth to counter it. I developed an anxiety about lying down my bed was like laying down in a coffin. The anxiety was intense and could not be ignored. The truth was lying down did not mean death. I had to both distract and replace the intense negative feelings with positive activities like listening to music, praying for my friends and family, reading, I chose detective novels. The anxiety loss its energy and soon I found the bed a friendly confine again. There were other strategies to make the bedroom more friendly. The results were wonderful.

I am just beginning to look at my emotional eating. The crazy thing is it is irrational. I am convinced that comes from the twisted world of abuse and betrayal. It is not about blaming my parents. It is about choosing not living emotionally from the past and taking ownership of today and the future. Will it unlock a better weight loss, will see.

It is not easy to tell you the weak links in my mental health. I think it's okay if you think it's crazy. I actually think it is to. 

I am 63 and I am free from depression. The anxiety attacks around my sleep disorder have put the rest. It was absolutely worth the effort to do so. Today I know 25% of people who are 63 are clinically depressed. I share my own mental battles to encourage others to get the help they need so that their senior years can't be free the "black dog". Now I'm looking at my eating, keep walking.