Bullying get involved, check out stopbullying.com

When I think of this child who was humiliated, the child will have unexplained emotions, hard to understand and even hurtful as a result. All because some kids chose to harm this kid in a disgraceful way. In my own life I am talking about things that happened over 50 years ago. Nobody should have to go through that. You'll be glad to know that in almost 40 years of working with people where there has been hundreds of times I have dealt with bullies. Yes, who I am has something to do with my response but, I've actually been pretty good with protecting the ones who were bullied and help bring the bullies to some sense of responsibility for their actions.

I know the call of action will be for society to deal with this. Each one of us can be a priest, lawyer, or average guy. We can look at the hurt person from bullies and thugs. What is our response when this happening do we look at it and see what we can do or do we pass by. The hurt has already taken place, what do we do? Do we pass by thinking somebody else has to do something or do we take the risk and see what we can do? Parents, Is your kid a bully or is your kid getting bullied? What is immature and what is crossing line. Do you see it? You have to get into your kids life to know. Either side of this issue you have to let your child know that you're going to help them get to the bottom of this. Either helping them to stop the behavior and become responsible for it or you were there to help them to deal with the bully and recover from it. If you as a parent do not get involved how can the law and society help you. You want real change and there is support out there to get it. 

The earlier we intervened the more sense it makes when we are working on immature actions rather than criminal behavior. In both cases there are consequences and lessons to be learned. Bully behavior has its motivation gaining power and control over others. In Calvin and Hobbes it was extortion of $.25. Moe always got a quarter. Calvin retreated into his imaginary world where he would defeat Moe in legendary battles. Calvin had his way of fighting back. In Calvin's world's teacher was part of the bullying process. She too would fall prey to to Calvin’s imagination. I think it was important Calvin fought back. The comic genius of the comic strip we owe because of the subject of bullying. 

I just read an article on neglect affecting 4/5 preschoolers. 

Is the most common form of abuse. But it is the opposite that we have to do when it comes to bullying. We have to get involved on a personal basis. We have to know our child's life or in my case, my grandchildren's life.

http://www.stopbullying.gov/index.html has resources to understand this problem. Explore the website. The more of us who choose to be a good Samaritan and choose not to be a bystander we will be helpful in stoping bullying. A bully will use a tactic an abuser uses, if you tell your parents I won't beat them up too. When I was a kid and kids used that line on me, I had to laugh because my silence protected the bully. If my dad knew he would go over and confront the parents. And when I say confront I am talking about the strongest terms. No I told the bullies I was protecting them and if they didn't believe me they could come meet my dad. There was always somebody in the crowd who met my dad or their parents knew my dad. And they would verify my story. 

But bullies may pose a threat to a family. And that is where others may be of assistance. Schools are much more aware bullying today. The police are more in tune with it. Single parents can find support with other single parents. Many more moms are banding together for collective strength and support. True enough there are people who will respond like the Levite and the priest in the story of the good Samaritan. Fear of getting involved they will pass on by. But there are unlikely hero's, people you know who will stand with you. Remember the risk is worth it, your child safety. Read the website and find out how to get support. Keep walking

Laughing with or at is key to the underlining of bullying. Bullies laugh at

I remember working with children and teens at camp for about 20 years. The staff used to play jokes on each other throughout the summer. The kids at the camp joined on it. Some of these plots the cabins would plan and work out. We had some rules and guidelines. No camper was to be made a joke of. People who did not want the practical jokes were off-limits. No damage, or harm would be part of the joke. And the counselor or cabin had to clean up any outward results. If they were unsure whether they would over do it, they were to talk it out with the director or my wife. Other counselors who wanted to play the game also could her targeted. The stress was on creativity and fun. 
Most of the staff liked the game. Myself and water safety instructor had some misgivings. Our difference of opinions help keep the game safe.

Practical jokes, at camp the counselors played jokes on my wife the camp nurse and the directors wife. Both women laughed at it and found ways to get even. They were good sports and they were very creative in pay backs. At this time in my life I did not practice practical jokes nor did I expect that they be practiced on me. I was not a good sport so I was out of the game. But I could see that everybody was having fun with it and nothing was done to hurt anybody. The campers enjoyed humor of it and in particular the ladies got a big kick out of that. 

There is a big difference with laughing with somebody rather than laughing at them. We all have something that we can laugh at then, humor is probably overall pretty good. We all do something that's funny, embarrassing, awkward. 

If you lived in the town of Mayberry with Andy Griffin there were a lot of quirky people. As we watch the show Earnest T. Bass was funny to laugh at, as were Gomer Pile, Barney Fife. Andy and Don Knotts ad-libbed their characters for 8 funny years into our homes. Each of these enduring characters on the show had their human moments. They are over-the-top characters were meant to be entertainment but the humor wasn't a mean-spirited humor. 

In stark contrast to laughing at each other is the abuse of the recent incident where kids mocked the bucket challenge with human waste poured on an autistic kid. The cry-out against the kids abusing the autistic child calls out for action. Most called for the kids to be prosecuted. They did break the law. For starters, how about the parents of the bullies see the behavior for what it is. Their actions hurt another human being. To make it worse they chose a child who was limited in fighting back. Discipline starts in the home. If the bullies are to turned around this is where it has to start. The parents need to stand with their kids for what they did. They may have to be an advocate for the children in the days ahead but right now they have to see the evil in it. The bullies have to see the evil in their behavior. There may be consequences but if the parents and children do not see the evil in their actions it will be far worse as he's kind of behaviors escalate. 

The autistic child needs protection and support. I have no idea how the child could be taught to protect himself. But I think children need help in learning self protection against bullies. They need to learn to take to target off your back. If the children cannot protect themselves then we have to step in. Since Drew Carey is already involved, maybe with his creativity and intelligence he could help children stand up to bullies or how to reach out for help. 

Since we are talking about starting at home, how about a booklet or a DVD to help inform the parents on bullying and how to talk to your kids about it. Parents of bullies need help as well. We should not assume that our children are not bullies. Parenting is one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities where we learn on the go. Since we don't know everything as parents it's okay learn something. Brief pointers could be present during commercial times. Maybe offering A one year degree on parenting that could also be rewarded at work with the raise. I know that's a crazy idea but it might make better parents, who in turn will make better employees and consumers. Churches could add parenting skills and reach out to young parents trying to put it altogether. Parents involved in bullying intervention will work a lot better than later social intervention. Education should be voluntary, but if children bully then education for the parents should be part of the sentence. Keep walking

topic of bullying - let's get into it

In the next couple blogs I would like to address the topic of bullying. I will show you down road how bullying has affected my life. To be sure I was a child when it first happened and I was confused and just took a beating. That incident would forge in my mind a definite response. It has become a part of me in many ways defined who I am. I have gone to different ways with it. For sure I fought back, but now for many years I have tried to understand, confronted and somehow bring healing to it. Be of no mistake bullying has to be confronted. We can't wish it away, avoid it, or even blame others. It is so big it calls for each one of us to respond. 

In Luke 10:25-37 there is a great story of the good Samaritan. It is worth another read to become familiar with the story in the details. This is a story with the focuses on the response, but the cause was bullying motivation of robbery.

We can have words to build up on another or we can have caustic and harmful words to tear each other down. Our actions can do the same thing. Think of the robbers who chose to use violence to rob this man. Read Proverbs 1:10-19, kids today I'm being called into such violent groups. Consider verse 11, If they say — “Come with us! Let's set an ambush and kill someone. Let's attack some innocent person just for fun!” Two disturbing trends today are the game of ambush kids are doing and attack of human waste on an innocent. Social media gives the motivation as a look at the number of hits for this obnoxious behavior. Will the action go viral? How can we stop it?

Reading the responses to the abuse of the autistic child we want social justice. The act was criminal and has consequences with law. But, if we want to see change I think we have to look at a more fundamental problem. 
I think we have to explore and encourage parents to be the first response to such actions. In parenting we may have to deal with our children and their immature behaviors. Sometimes their behaviors cross the line and are harmful. Other times their behaviors are immature and childish. A parent has to be able to see both parts. If we don't see when our kids cross the line we may not be dealing with reality. But on the other hand we don't understand some of their behavior reflects how old they are or lack of experience, recalling our own experiences when we were their age we may lack compassion. Parents need to step up when confronting both sides of the bullying. When our kids do wrong and hurt others we have to hold them accountable and we have to be responsible to discipline the wrong behavior. In this case, the behavior broke the law. The parent facing up to the wrong deed can help their child learn and change and face the consequences of their behavior.

Many of my friends posted Drew Carey offering a reward to find the kids who became bizarre with the bucket challenge as they bullied an autistic child. Clearly they crossed line seriously enough to be prosecuted by law. Drew clearly heard of the attack and did something about it. I hope he follows it through with his talent and wit to help those who are attack and hurt; to learn how to stand up or find those who will stand with them, and begin to help healing and recovery. He very definitely has the ability to address people who are thinking about crossing the line and hurting people. There is wrong behavior.

Can you recall in your youth doing a prank that you thought was funny but somehow really hurt somebody? What did you learn about it? Did you ever try to make it right? On the other side of the coin have you ever been hurt by a prank? What did you learn about? How did you confront the bully and didn't solve the problem? Or there was no resolution how did that affect you? Human life is messy. Did mom and dad help sort it out? Or was this something that you were alone about? Are you angry about it? If so, choose your favorite cuss word and with a smile just say it. Laugh with me right now. Doesn't it feel better? At least you have to say is the first time in minister Took time to swear with you. Keep walking