Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Monday, November 2, 2015

Imperfect people, Try not to cut them off...


24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Heb. 10

I was reading an article by Wayne Martindale, C. S. Lewis, Reluctant Churchman in which she showed from Lewis’ writing that church attendance something Lewis hoped he could do without. For Lewis it was people came in all shapes and sizes. Ordinary people, even odd people were the vessels in which God worked to create great changes in him. The church or the body of Christ was the place in which people learned to love.
Any of us can love somebody we look up to or appreciate. It is quite another matter to love people more difficult. Odd people who don't fit into our comfortable equations will stretch love in unexpected places. 
For a long time God has shown me when a church resembles more of the Community of Mayberry on the Andy Griffin show we will be more inclined to be surprised by joy and love. One of the best TV commedies were there was a mix of interesting and off beat characters. 
Floyd the Barber (with glasses) still worked was
suffering w dementia. He was still part of their lives.
Lewis did not like the hymns or the sermons. He liked theology books and reason writings. One thing about a book is you can control it. You can close the book and not return to it. If you don't like it or don't agree with it, it can be sent away and become a distant memory. On the other hand books can become a much needed friend. How many books I have read that challenged my thinking and made me a better person? 
A church opens the doors and invites whoever into it. The gospel at the core of its message reaches out to the down and outer, the poor, the disadvantaged, the common person. Our quest for friendship leads us to the noble, the beautiful, the brilliant,  the most liked and loved. The church is the exact opposite of that. 
One of the constructs of our modern thinking comes with setting up borders in dealing with negative, toxic people. Have you ever noticed there is a lot of these people?
Some of these people are very close to us,  a parent, sibling, lifelong associate, a neighbor. Don’t get me wrong I actually understand borders. But borders and difficult people need to be loved. It is the hard cases that is at the heart of the matter. Certainly we cannot tolerate sins that abuse us, but there are relationships that require us to show God's love. 
If there are relationships that are destroying you, then please consider setting up borders and leaving a toxic relationship. I believe the Lord will show you when is a good time to show love and forgive and yet stop the destructive relationship. 
If we separate ourselves from every toxic person we come into contact there will be very, very few people left. We need to develop a little thicker skin and take the bull's-eye off our back. Not everything is hate, there're a lot of things that are really just a lively debate. 
I wish more young people we're involved in BS (bull shit) sessions where anything could be discussed and debated. Ideas explored and challenged where you hear and see what was being communicated. More importantly today to be able to feel the argument. If you could have such a group that met every week you can worked through all the little hangups you come across. Right now we live through our little machines and if we don't like something we block it out or ignore it. We only read or look at things that reinforce our little worlds. Differences become toxic and are removed.
Which brings us  back to church. There is never a perfect local church, each church has its own flaws, hypocrites, and weirdos. There are some mature and functional people to be sure. When you look at the whole of the group it may be challenging to find those mature and balanced, but they are there. It is here that Jesus told us to love one another. It is here that I think you will discover many surprising things about yourself and how God works. I prefer to look at it like Andy of Mayberry and see the humor of it. In work I it is the one thing I miss in my 30 years of working in special ed. Every day there was something funny as well as profound about the human experience. I miss the quirky and unusual discoveries that came each day. That part of my job I was never bored with.
In my 40 years of going to church how God works with the dysfunctional, the weird, and offbeat is what fascinated me. We need a church that is not an entertainment center. There are people who are harder to love and we need that if were going to understand God's love. A church full of common regular people will teach us a lot more about ourselves.

There is a subject that I wish to explore which is seeing things with God’s humor. Keep walking

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Growing older together

I subject I rarely write about but should more often is about aging and sex. In particular how does walking help with a healthy sex life as we age. I made the following comment on a blog I follow and the writer wrote back. Leslie wrote an opinion on the new marketing of a female viagra pill. Follow the link below for her discussion:

"Sexuality as a age I find is interesting. I have occasionally used viagra. What I believe works better without side effects is a love marriage where in a relaxing atmosphere everything is worked out. I at least experience definite changes as we age. When love comes with sexuality even as we decline the relationship continues to meet the challenges. The drug may be helpful, but it can't replace old lovers."
  1. image: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0km3b8aT7vXJdy_5SLqLsyl0HlYHdNxi8Z3ar8s_fFq3dwjQmcqL4g6NAg_sW8BL2sWkNDUP5-1wwUn9581bJah1jzkdtTaMJntkQKrNzau6vypfGusOQbeZid4AD0k2qJcb48iLYYVc/s35/blogcrop.jpg
    Hi Bill, I agree with you, that love and understanding are likely to make more of a difference than a pill. Love this phrase, "when love comes with sexuality, even as we decline the relationship continues to meet the challenges." So good!!
Read more at http://www.leslieleylandfields.com/2015/08/do-women-need-anti-viagra-drug-what.html#OjFvl0PeVvOeBLLX.99

Female viagra explained
https://www.sharecare.com/health/sex-and-relationships/slideshow/female-viagra-explained-in-5-clicks
How do they work through sex issues?
What if they can't have sex, how are they coping?
Walking has the following benefits for aging lovers. 
Walking aerobically opens the blood vessels for increase blood flow through out the body. It is definitely a plus for the brain and body.
Walking helps keep the weight off which in turn helps with lovemaking. 
Recumbent bikes have a better seat design which will not restrict blood flow.
Walking helps the heart and that in turn helps our sex life.
http://walking.about.com/od/malehealth/a/edwalkgood.htm
More important then walking is the intimacy of the relationship gets older that works through the issues that come with our decline. A loving couple will have the ability to adapt to the changes that occur as we get older. Even when we can longer have sex due to health, the closeness, touch, and intimate companionship remains.
It is very hard for Hollywood, popular media to get a handle on old lovers. We wince at the thought of old lovers. Many men discard their wives for younger models, insane in my opinion. 
Go for a walk, do romantic things, work through together viagra or not and grow old together. Keep walking
Proverbs 5:18, 19 "Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful fawn —let her breasts always satisfy you; be lost in her love forever."

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

"He gives sleep to the one He loves." some thoughts on insomnea

"He gives sleep to the one He loves." (Ps. 127:2b) The other day I posted a blog from Mart Dehahn who had the most fantastic quote. "When I first heard a friend talk about the idea that a relationship with Jesus boils down to a chance to live loved, I was hooked."  Having a chance to live a life loved by God through it all is pretty amazing. Paul shares a similar truth in Eph. 1:6 NKJV : "to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved." The truth and experience of being loved and accepted is at the heart of all care and relationships. We may have feelings about God of rejection and separation, but they can be gone as we trust Him as our Savior. Then the adventure begins. 
Back to Ps. 127:2b "He gives sleep to the one He loves." Being loved and forgiven are ideas that lend to a good night sleep. But we may still find it hard to sleep. There could be a thousand reasons why but for many of us it is a result of getting older. In the Huffing Post today there was a blog that reported a study in the UK that indicated poor sleep may effect the immune system and cause cancer to grow. Yikes! Well, a breakdown in our immune system can cause a lot of bad things. Loss of sleep is something we can not ignore. A short term crisis is one thing but if it is habitual we may need help.
For me getting help to deal with panic attacks has really improved my sleep, getting physical therapy for a rotator cuff allowed me to sleep on my side as usual, and walking has reduced pain in my legs. My list goes on, but dealing with these things helped me to sleep through the night on most nights and go back to sleep.
Insomnia is not fun. I recall talking to a lady in the hospital who slept in a chair. She was 20 years older than me and her problems were more complicated. She told me she has began to have problems with dementia and was in the hospital for treatment. She was intelligent and delightful to talk to and her insight was remarkable. For the week I was there, I would get up at 5:00 am (not by choice) go get coffee and share the morning paper with her in conversation. Each day more night owls would join us and we had quite the group. Most we teachers, lawyers, with me being a the low end of the totem pole. We listened and shared our sleeping struggles and I learned a lot. One thing we did was ease our pain. Over time medicine and therapy open the door for me to improve my sleep. It takes effort and time so whatever the ailment give it a go. Sleep is a wonderful experience. Keep walking