Listening has its' challenges

Sometimes when we think about is a lot of bad news lately. We might be thinking about ISEL or the economy. Some of us might be focused on some global environmental issue, or even a health issue like you Ebola. I've been watching that particular problem in a country that I used to live in. Now all of these issues we should know and care about. With Ebola I've been encouraged that they found a way to treat it. How it plays out there will be suffering. Some of these issues are really long-term problems that will take a lot of hard work. 

The kind of bad news that I think doesn't get much press are the bad news that happens in our life. A love one passes away, another has an accident with long-term complications, heart disease, cancer and diabetes take their toll in personal ways. When these things hit us personally we make it initially a lot of support but as time goes on people want to move on. Yet we may personally still be in the battle with a few people in support. 

Somehow because the problem affects us, we now become a new advocate. Throughout personal experience we learn a lot about what we're going through. Sometimes I think getting older almost gives us a doctorate in what we learn. I was watching Miss Agatha Christie last night, a Caribbean Mystery. The victim was an old man who shared photos of his hobby which was murders and their victims. He would go on and on in a long monotone in which Jane Marple would nod off from time to time. That night the old man was killed, it looks like he could've died of natural causes. Well, with Jane Marple around one just doesn't die of natural causes; it has to be in particular a poison not easily detected. The death is a murder. Jane hates evil and she wakes her mind up to the boring conversation of the night before and tries to make sense of it. Like Sherlock Holmes, Monk, or even Shawn Spencer something doesn't fit. She finds an ally in an unlikely partner who is a grumpy old man everybody hates. He has a good mind and like his own story he takes an interest in the old man who doesn't count in anybody else in the world like himself and joins Miss Marple to solve the mystery. 

When I was younger I work in a mental hospital in which I was assigned six people to take care of their needs through the day. It was my job to remind them of therapy that they were involved in and if needed escort them to other parts of the hospital for care. If somebody was bedridden I would take care of them. I was trained to look for things that related to their particular problems. Each day I was to talk to each person. I'll be honest with you some people are interesting to talk too, but other people are not. Sometimes it was because of the disease of that they have. Sometimes they would go on and on, and like Jane Marple, I used to nod off. But there was always something that they said that was important and I used to rewind the conversations and scramble for meaning. There was a therapist Dr. Rogers and Rogerian therapy who indicated with a nod or yes or some kind of sound and indicated that you were listening. In truth, these responses could be done by rote and you could be somewhere faraway. I could've been the only person that day that really talked to the people. The doctors and therapists paid attention to people that they were interested but others they would spend little time with. I would time their sessions and most of time it was one or two minutes. That was it. If they were interested in the person he could be one or two hours. This is inequality drove me to do better with my conversation. I would read and study the experts to do better in this. 

Do you ever get the feeling that people are listening to you? That the very issues that you're dealing with it is hard to find someone with the same focus. I think it's a good idea to find people who are going through the same thing you are. On the brighter side isn't nice to find people who care and know things that can really help you. In healing you can almost have a day by day instruction for. Sometimes there is always taking a few steps back and then you move forward again. Health gains and recovery can be kind of a long road. When it comes to lifestyle changes I think you really have to be patient with yourself. I like to thought of being kind to yourself. As you make changes, notice how better you feel. You don't have to see the end of the road, you just have to feel good about the few steps you taking today. Tomorrow will have its own challenges. 

Is nobody listening to you. Drop a comment now I'll listen. Keep walking