Hurtful wounds

As we get older sometimes our words get a little looser. I remember in Bible College profs talking about a ex-prof suffering from dementia then in a nursing home swearing like a sailor. Of course many are like the dad in Christmas Story who swear like an art form. But in many work places public talk can be different from private talk. Working in a hospital and school for over 40 years I have chosen not to swear. That doesn't mean never.
But more than word emotions seem harder to control for many seniors. Then there is the other side of it how often do we lose our cool and words, with seniors. I imagine there is a little give and take. If both parties are trading insults that may be the way it is. But how many of us say something that we regret? I have seen kids wanting to clear the air to only hurt and break relationships. They didn't have that in mind when they started to share feelings. Parents have done the same and where we hurt is with those we love. In the New York times Paula Span's article Words that Wound, reported the senior's point of view concerning verbal abuse. I think we can all understand the situation of a caregiver getting frustrated and a senior getting upset over the struggles of aging. Lemon and Matthau in their many versions of the Odd Couple gave us insight with their humor of grumpy old men.
To me the first step to healing starts with here is where we are at. There is not a course that prepares us for getting old or dealing with those that are. We are each of us unique. We are either the child or parent in the changing of our relationship. Care-giving in this relationship is far from easy. Receiving care from someone you gave care to is harder than we have imagined. Changes are more difficult and with less support we find ourselves unprepared.
I don't think it is easy nor should it be, but we can work towards it being caring and in the end something we are glad we did. There are resources out their to help the caregiver, but what about seniors? Many are members of AARP or other senior interest groups. There are web sites designed for seniors, some I have a page about good sites. What ever end you are at here it is good to share with your friends.
Reading other experiences may be helpful. Getting involved with our friends who need care may also give us insight on how we can make this experience better. It may be helpful to reach out if you feel lonely or frustrated about getting older. I have mentioned before 25% of us experience depression. For me it was better to seek help than remain depressed. One thing that happens is who cares what others think. What is best for me and those I care about. It may be a road less traveled. Keep walking.