walk in peace - walking and dealing with emotions

 Barb and I have found walking in peace rather than discussing problems or or arguing is better. On occasion we have talked out our problem  and some how it took away the atmosphere of the walk. On occasion we were angry at the start of the walk and returned to our car, usually me sulking. Therefore we have found it best not to bring anger with us when we walk.

Jesus was heading to the feast of Tabernacles in John 7. Outside the city the crowds and Jewish leaders joined Him. The feast was a time of Celebration and for Jesus he was rob of that experience by the anger and rejection of others. His walk here of a mile or so was filled with debate, How hard must the walk for Him in what should have been a time of celebration.

The following are my comments of the event in relationship to my own growth and therapy dealing with anger:

(Reeves) As he moves the temple this argument is going on. This walk of at least a mile would be in controversy. I have found walking hard if you are arguing on a walk. It is better to sit down and turtle in emotions so that emotional level is appropriate for the issue. Most of our issues are minor and a blow would be out of place. Lately have been setting boundaries on how angry I would get. Not violence. Keep anger level closer to the issue. When I think about it I should not escalate anger above a two or three. There is no need to have an 8 or nine level. The emotion may be necessary to ward off an attack on my family and not discuss wrong turn in traffic or money issues. Barb is the reasonable one with money. And I don’t always have to have my own way. There may be a better course of action.

Here the Jews (religious leaders) escalated their anger beyond reason. There was a better way

A boundary we set on anger is not to discuss issues of anger on the walk. rather there is a focus on the elements of nature and what is going on around us. That discussion then can be done when I am mindful of the emotional level and response. I don't have to get angry like I learned in my childhood. I can expand the area where my wise man can deal with the situation with reason and care to the other, most;y Barb.

I don't have to be a grumpy ole man with out purpose. Keep walking

Pick me up - work counts

Worked out with weights and total gym today. Really picked me up energy wise. Went to Church and enjoyed the music. Had a good time studying Walking with Jesus studies. I can't wait to get the work on line. Walking with Jesus on 30 minute walks really makes a difference. Seeing his life from the point of view of a walker has been interesting.

Barb is a great cook, dinner was wonderful.

Looking back this year at work I can see how a change in the way I look at work has really been good for me. I have set aside my wishing I was working somewhere else and just going about my work as an opportunity to help others. I have not allowed myself the nagging thoughts of I don't want to go to work to being present minded at work just to use my time and skills to help kids. I have accepted the fact I am skillful and knowledgeable at what I do. I have rejected the lies that anybody can do my job and I have a job that is low skill or achievement. There are teens throughout my day that I help. Almost everyday kids say thanks. My whole attitude has changed and it has opened up much more enjoyment of my life outside of work. I am using my education at work and not making excuses not to. Bottom line I feel great about it.

I am very thankful today for those who have helped me set boundaries on people who were negative in my life. It really energizes my spirit. Thanks to Barb, Billy, Deb, Bob and those involved in my therapy who have encouraged me to deal with my depression and anxiety. Living in a mindful way is so incredible healthy I can't get over the changes.

What started with lifestyle changes in walking and diet has now moved to leaps of progress in my mental and spiritual life. Thanks to coworkers and friends I may become an old man with purpose and not so grumpy. Keep walking!

Northern Lights - hot diggity

Long to see again

Over half the United states saw the aurora borealis on Oct. 24, 2011. I missed it. I enjoyed hearing from my friends who saw it. If you saw it share with me your experience. Send a picture of video. Nearly 30 years ago I saw the lights from then Pine ridge camp. Ken, Barb and I watched them for two hours or more.people from Tennessee, Arkansaw, Illinois  and others saw a great light show.

I love the night skies we can see with our naked eyes. Like looking at the mountains, or the ocean, the night skies put me in awe of God's creation. Onre day in those skies Jesus will return as Messiah to rule for a thousand years on earth befor returning to eternaity in heaven. For some there is dought but concider the northern lights, the rainbow, the stars and planets, Sunsets, oceans and mountian and see the glory of God.

It is easy to walk in a created world where God cares enough to provide a Savoir to do a great miracle, to live thisd life with purpse and for eternity we have  faith in Jeusus to get us to heaven, Keep walking!

Sunshine Minister - had battles with anxiety and depression

In my readings from Radio Bible class I came across a character Frank Graeff 1860-1919, He was known as the "Sunshine Minister for his up beat preaching and encouraging hymns he wrote. He was my age when He passed. It seems later in life he battled with pain, depression and doubt. From his experiences he penned the following hymn:
http://rbc.org/
Does Jesus care when my heart is pained Too deeply for mirth and song
As the burdens press, and the cares distress, And the way grows weary and long?

Refrain:
O yes, He cares I know He cares! His heart is touched with my grief
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary, I know my Savior cares

Does Jesus care when my way is dark With a nameless dread and fear?
As the daylight fades into deep night shades, Does He care enough to be near?

Does Jesus care when I’ve tried and failed To resist some temptation strong
When for my deep grief I find no relief Tho my tears flow all the night long?

Does Jesus care when I’ve said goodbye To the dearest on earth to me
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks Is it aught to Him? does He see?

Where did he find hope and strength to battle depression and anxiety which brought on a season of doubt? He didn't have the professional care that I was able to get. He wasn't privy to medicines that give relief. No he found a string of truth in James 5:6-8. Be humble is to cast your care upon Him who can meet that burden. Looking at the hymn grief, temptation, battles with depression, anxiety and fears, Frank Graeff  learned to give God his burdens. If you look closer at the hymn it is possible his depression stayed with him awhile. Regardless of his personal struggles he knew this bottom line truth, God cares and is involved with the burdens and feelings that come in our darkest days.

Mart DeYoung wrote of the tragedy of the animals being shot in Ohio. The authorities put safety to people to priority and it was decided to destroy the animals. We have lion seeking to destroy us.1 Peter 5:8 Our enemy is one to consider.Many believe Satan to be a myth. A figure with horns and pitch fork. C. S. Lewis long ago believed Satan prefered this version, while he did his work in secret. Let us not forget his purpose is TO DESTROY US. He is the father of lies and one lie is the lie of depression. The truth is God cares and you were worth His sending His Son to die for you and to save you from sin and or sure the lies that depression can bring.

Frank Graeff  was an upbeat guy who later in life has a bout of depression and anxiety and it brings him to the word of God to cast the burdens on the Lord. He is humble as he does this and he mindful of what is ahead of him. From Frank's trials he had to go through, he learned from them and trusted the Lord through the trial of depression that God cares.

I have my therapy and medicine helping me battle, insomnia, anxiety, depression and anger. Give me my medicine, give me what I am learning to battle poor learning from the past, give me my strategies ti battle anxiety. Help me put into action care for others and be thankful for the love and respect I get in return.

How goes your battle tonight are you facing abuse, being knocked down, need of care? Get it, you are worth it. You may need the aid of medicines and therapy form skilled mental health professionals.You can't go wrong with "Casts all you care s upon Him for He cares for you."

A slight slip in subject, tonight I mowed grass for 45 minites non stop. I felt good doing the work. Breathing good and pumping my blood aorobically. Yard looked nice.  Ate healthy today, a good day.

 Keep walking

Why things happen and what a day for a walk!

Today I was studying John 9:1-3, Net Bible - 9:1 Now as Jesus was passing by, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. 9:2 His disciples asked him,  “Rabbi, who committed the sin that caused him to be born blind, this man  or his parents?”  9:3 Jesus answered, “Neither this man  nor his parents sinned, but he was born blind so that  the acts  of God may be revealed  through what happens to him.

 Notice Jesus was walking when He passed this fellow born blind. He was in the Temple area passing some entrance when He encountered the blind man.  Great  question posed by the disciples in verse two. Living with a disability that occurred at birth, I have lived through some disadvantages and like the blind man living in a fallen world it is not easy. In my notes I made the following comment:

 "I have had a disability of eyesight and CP for 59 years. I have been blessed to have played sports and enjoy many things in life. I am aware there are many who are worse off than I. I feel for them in ways many could not. There are many things I have experienced which are painful and a struggle. It looks like I will live with my disabilities until I go home with the Lord. I have hope that improved therapy and treatment will help me in the years ahead. But I am also aware I will experience more pain and impairment.

There will be grace given to me to endure my difficulties. There will be seasons of prayer and trust. God will work through these experiences to help me grow and He will help me with my care but He doesn’t remove the trials.

Walking, strengthening, stretching helps and there is hope."

Hope in the Messiah's rule and care in the future will be wonderful for those of us with impairments that affect the quality of life. Today we live by faith and today we live in a fallen world. But I am all for the science and love that reaches out to make things easier and the battles we work for to improve the lot of our fellow man or woman, or child.

Today was a clear warm fall day. Where ever you live today would be a great day to move, stretch, and strengthen the body. As you breathe in the fresh air and move the blood through your body every part benefits. Walking outdoors when we can energize the body and renew the spirit. Try it and I know you will agree. Yes my body moans but with each walk I soar like an eagle.

Jesus was strolling as He passed the blind man, it is good to move. Keep walking

Sometimes it takes work - Remodeling and remolding takes work

Sometimes it just takes work. The picture to the left is part of a game Liam and I play as he passes me with his walker. As he and I make eye contact through the chair he will smile and he makes me smile. It is like a game of peek a boo. The picture came easy.
We are remodeling the upstairs bedroom and as we do the work we find more work is needed than what we planned. That happens as you work on a 132 year old house. The out come will have many benefits of a greener house, but it takes work.

Talking with an old friend today we discover we had more in common than I thought. In my mental health I have been working on three things, anxiety, depression, and avoid becoming a grumpy old man. In our conversation, many of the old scars in life we share. I shared some of my new insights and we could both see we have our work cut out ahead of us. I , but I wish I could tell you different, but I am afraid it takes work. I think it will be my battle as long as I am in the flesh. That may sound bad, but I look at it as a battle worth fighting. Anxiety is way down, depression is better and I look at my grumpy issues as opportunities to be different from the events of my childhood.  As I age I can live with purpose and hope of days well lived. Paul said as his life was coming to an end, "I have fought the good fight."

Putting into practice what I am learning in therapy and Bible study takes work. It is certainly things we do with God's help. I am not sure it is possible with out His love and power.

Another friend and mentor in my life is now in his eighties, fighting cancer. He still is sending nearly daily emails of positive truths, promises and hope with an occasional challenge. Battling cancer and old age has its difficulties. He would share it takes work. His faith has allot to do with his success. Yea it takes work but I like to think it is energized by faith, hope and love. Keep walking

Isn't it great to sleep - ZZZZZZZ

When I was a kid I would talk to my self, imagine, and other odd things before I would nod off to dream land. I would awaken easy if my dad came home at one or two in the morning. I thought of myself as a light sleeper but I enjoyed sleeping in. Aches and pains, insomnia, anxiety have made sleep more complicated. For five years it was pretty bad and contributed to putting me in a depression. When you sleep one to five hours a night it can do a number on you. I read up on sleep and found a number of strategies that were worth while but anxiety and depression had become a part of me I could not shake.

Getting help and treatment made a whirl of difference. Since my getting help with anxiety and depression I have returned to the world of regular sleep of 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night. Most nights 8+ hours per-night. I also have confidence anxiety will not rob me of peace of mind. Now the strategies I learned about rest and sleep can be applied. What have I found that works for me?

1. Eat around 5 or 6 for supper
2. Be thankful for a day of helping others
3. Go for a 30+ minute walk
4. Relax with Barb watching TV, we record and watch it as we want. We can turn off TV at 9:00 to 9:30.
5. Read a mystery and devotions or listen to relaxing music
6. Look at my friend wall to remind me of people who I care about and care for me.
7. Talk with God and give thanks
8. Use a pillow friendly to neck and shoulders
9. Take my medicines when I should
10. And if I need to take time to stretch or exercise to relieve tightness due to CP
11. Sleep in a cool dark room

The medication seems to help with racing thoughts and anxiety.  Sleep is a blessing. There is a difference today and when I suffered from insomnia. It was worth it to get help. Keep walking

Preparing for winter - work matters

Health isn't all Spartan

We are now into fall and it is time to get ready for the cold winter season. The work is all part of our bodies being in motion and better about myself. Around my house insulation, updating the electricity lines and adding an extended closet, fan and light, and new wallboard. Raising the ceiling a foot and creating a warmer space up stairs and in the house. A lot of work.
Working at work has been more in the moment. Helping kids and teachers. I let go job title and feeling of failure and I am just more involved than I have been  in the past. I am out top show how dynamic and skilled a parapro can be on the job. with skills and educatoin we have value.
Each period I work I try to walk a few hundred steps. Many ways to keep active, Keep walking

Walking to get fit - stretching

My muscle were tight on my 2 1/2 mile walk tonight. In my second mile and after my walk I took time to stretch and felt better. The weather was beautiful and it was nice to see the fall colors.

Without a doubt walking is good for you. Nice to have hate with amber glasses to improve vision and protect eyes. Enjoyed the blue skies and Indian summer. That you Lord, keep walking!

Moving stretches the musles walking, good gym routines, swimming all help grumpy old bodies.

Great week for the Outdoors - Flowers in bloom

A friend of shared how she loved the cooler weather of fall. I hated to see the long days of summer go. This week perfect weather to enjoy the clear blue skies and warm day temperatures with cool nights. For walking it is ideal times unless you don't like looking at pollen bushes in full bloom. There are plenty of fall flowers to enjoy. The sugar maples' leaves are at peak colors. Even sitting out on the porch with friends watching the stars and feel the cool air.

At work helping kids and finding ways to encourage learning and develop good friendly relationships to guide kids to fuller experiences of the classroom helps me enjoy each moment. I believe kids like soldiers are lead with gentle positive support rather than ego-centric, negative fear strategies. Each day I hope kids see my smile and kind word to counter the too many negative pressures they receive from the adult world. Keep walking

The layer of colors from leaves and flowers can compete with any garden P. Allen Smith may design.

Donna a Friend from Portland, Oregon sent a picture of a sunset in the mountains with was outstanding. In the same spirit I viewed a wonderful sunset over a grassy prairie. thanks Donna for the Inspiration. See ya on the trail.

Great week for walking



This arrangement was on the trail

Every one uniquie

A friend of mine told me how glad she was to see the hot weather of summer past. I love the long hours of sun light and the full summer growth and even the warm vs. cold of winter. Spring, summer, fall are great times to walk outdoors. If you can walk in the cool of the morning it can be the best of times. But I can't disagree with my friend about fall and the cooler temperatures. They are ideal for walking.

Now before we move to fall tree colors can you enjoy the variety of color I captured and the sun was reflecting in the late evening before sunset. I took this picture in the middle of a walk run of 20 minutes. What is nice about the cool evening temperature I wasn't sweating to much and had great views along the way.

A friend Donna shared a photo of the Rockies at sunset that was breath taking. Thank you Donna. But this sunset in a prairie park I walk in holds its own beauty. I am grateful God blesses us where ever we are with His beauty in His creation. Most of my time my walks are a little longer, but I will take what I can get. Thank you Barb for walking with me. That you Debi and Donna for your encouraging words and photos. This is a blest week for enjoying Creation.

Walking I can't say enough about it, it is life to old feet. Keep walking!