"I see You" it actually worked work me.

I read a wonderful posting by Dr. Caceres of Timberline Knolls and at Meier Clinics titled, “I See You”. http://www.meierclinics.com/I_See_You

Well worth your read. I like the way she wrote, what “I see you” is all about:

“The infant comes to understand who they are through the mirroring of the nurturing caretaker – one who sees the child and lovingly affirms, “I see you and know who you are, worthy, lovable and beautiful to me!” That is also what God says to us when he sees us.”

She uses the example of the movie Avatar where Neytiri looks into the eyes of Jake’ avatar and sees the real person of the heart. I am reminded of Robin Williams portrayal of Peter Pan as the older adult. One of the lost boys looks into his eyes and sees Peter, “There you are!”.

In working in the hospital or at the school I often work with people who have emotional breakdowns or meltdowns. At such times I always felt that I was at my best. One of the techniques I used to use was to have pleasant moments where I used to touch bases with them not as clinical or educational role but just a simple pleasant human moment to be enjoyed together. Was there something that we could share together, a story, a funny moment, a good experience that was a affirmative. In such times I worked make eye contact with the kids with a pleasant smile and eyes. I would often set my self up where they could laugh with and sometimes at me. Little did they know while I enjoy those moments I was actually working to get ready for the hard times. 

Hard times would come, that was why I was there. I looked at it as an opportunity to work through the reality of disability or the difficult emotional connections. Coworkers may get caught up into their goals or the lesson a plan and feel the frustration with such interuptions; but I felt this was the lesson itself.

I didn't always say it, but I would look them in the eye and connect to them the same way I did when we had some good time and I would tell them we will work through this. I would go with them through hell or high water and help to through the crisis. Every time I did this trust was developed and long term progress was made.

If you have children, you'll need to discipline your children. They will have meltdowns. They may not be very good at expressing their anger. It is possible that they were are good about it in fourth grade but in seventh grade they were horrible.

Make sure along the way you are finding many examples of positive things that they are doing so that you can affirm, “I see you” and you are every bit worth my love. Make sure to make eye contact, that it is a shared event where both love is received and given. Then when some brouhaha develops and it will, don't be surprised. This is now an opportunity to work through it and to say, “I'm with you, it'll be okay.” Whatever steps you have to do you were doing for them. There will be less interuptions and positive ways to handle emotions will be adapted and kids mature.

There will come a time when they are older and they look you in the eye and say, “I see you”.

Keep walking